As Father’s Day approaches, it’s got me thinking: why do we set aside a special day to celebrate each parent? It may seem like a silly question to you, but given cultural trends that mute the differences between men and women, it’s worth asking ourselves: is it necessary to celebrate Father’s Day (and for that matter Mother’s Day)? Why don’t we just celebrate Parent’s Day instead?

Let me be clear where I stand on this - Father’s Day is important because dads fulfill a unique role in their children’s lives, a role worth recognizing and celebrating.

This holds true for moms as well. Each parent is important in his or her own way. The barriers that existed in the past that kept women from pursing options have fallen. There are few things in our society that women cannot do. Women are doctors, lawyers, engineers, senators, firefighters…Well, you get my point.

But while women can do and be just about anything in contemporary society, there’s one thing a woman can never be: a father. I guess the question is - does it matter?

It does.

An appropriately engaged father is a vital part of a healthy, stable home, and is irreplaceable in raising their children. This is true not only because fathers share the function of parenting and lighten the load of a tired mother, but because dads play a unique and important role in a child’s development - one that is distinct from a mother’s.

I recognize, of course, that there are deadbeat dads out there and others who are a danger to their children. But, speaking broadly, the biggest threat to child wellbeing is father absence, not father presence. I also recognize that there are countless single parents who labor tirelessly every day to provide a safe, stable home for their child. They deserve credit and support for doing so. But even the majority of single parents agree that children do best in a home with a mother and father.

The fact is, generally speaking, men and women are wired differently and children benefit when those differences are blended in parenting.

For example, studies have shown that moms and dads have very distinct communication styles. Moms tend to simplify their language when speaking to their children. They are more repetitive and frequently explain things. Dads, on the other hand, do not. They speak more briefly and to-the-point (“Don’t make me pull this car over” usually does the trick). As a result, children learn from their dads to better articulate themselves.

According to educational psychologist Carol Gilligan, mothers and fathers discipline differently as well. While mothers tend to be more sympathetic, fathers tend to enforce the rules objectively. Dads emphasize justice and duty. Gilligan says that mothers provide hopefulness, but fathers teach consequences and objectivity in right and wrong.

Another difference is that mothers typically embody security. Fathers embody boldness, playfulness and teach their children to test the boundaries. He’s the one who wrestles on the floor or swings his children into the air. You don’t often hear a mom urging her kids to “ride faster” or “swing higher.” A dad’s playfulness is vital for teaching children how to control their emotions and moderate their play and his boundaries on roughhousing teach appropriate limits to such activity.

Studies show that fathers are less tolerant than mothers of unnecessary dependent behavior (i.e. crying for help when the child can do it on his/her own). This is particularly true of fathers and their sons. As a result, children learn self-sufficiency and independence. Of course, this and any other behavior by a dad can be taken to an unhealthy extreme, but if it is lovingly applied can make a big difference.

While moms tend to focus on children’s verbal and social skills, it is dads who usually teach mechanical skills, spatial perception and math proficiency. Children also tend to learn the importance of assertiveness from their fathers, stating their opinions and defending themselves to others.

Dad also has a unique influence on each gender. For boys, Dad is a role model. He teaches his son responsibility and what it means to function in his family and society as a man. Dads teach their sons how to treat women by the way he treats their mother. Boys identify with their fathers because they are “different-from-Mom.” According to the report “Fathers and Adolescents,” a son’s father is also essential to his sexual identity formation and understanding of masculinity.

When it comes to his daughter, a father’s role is different, but equally important. According to anthropologist Suzanne Frayser, girls who grow up close to their dads are more secure around men later on. A girl’s father is the first man to affirm her femininity, beauty and self-worth. Women who were raised by an involved, supportive dad have healthier relationships with men than those who were not. Girls also learn from their fathers how men should treat women, and later look for similar traits in their partners. Finally, studies show that an engaged father better protects girls from promiscuity, sexual activity and teen pregnancy. In fact, one survey showed that 76 percent of teen girls said their fathers were somewhat or very influential on their decision to have sex or not.